Archive for the ‘Rated 4-6 VGR’ Category
Mona If you’ve been reading my reviews for a while, you’re familiar with Elya, an early VirtuaGirl model who I’ve described frequently as a “train wreck” of striptease – you want to shut it down and look away, but you just feel compelled to keep watching her disastrous shows. Mona is the same sort of phenomenon. She is pretty, though not nearly as well-built as Elya, and has a modicum of talent – just enough to get her in trouble – but is otherwise a horrible desktop dancer. She has small breasts, pale, sunburned skin, big hips, and thick legs. Her greatest exploit seems to be her inability to have a sexy expression and at the same time make sexy moves: if she is doing one, she will stumble the other. She has something of a fan following on Virtua Girl, but I’d suspect they watch her shows for the same reason I do: to see her next blunder and giggle at her latest failed attempt to bust a move. In this card, you’ll watch her, in sequence in one shot, nearly trip trying to remove her panties, almost lose her grip on the strip pole while doing the same, and then get her panties caught on her shoe and then her thumb as she attempts to save it all by tossing them away flippantly. You can see by her expression through this that she believes the engineers at Totem will just cut the scene out and move on. They didn’t. In a way, this makes her cards entertaining, but for my tickets, I’d prefer to see Elya repeatedly screw things up rather than watch Mona. VirtuaGirlHD subscribers who own this card have given her an 8.57. The card consists of 21 clips for a total of about 30 minutes of stripsaver action.
Lauren Crist Every holiday, especially Halloween and Christmas, Totem likes to trot out a special holiday-themed card or two. Most of the time, these cards are lame. This year, Christmas begins with Lauren Crist in her debut card to VirtuaGirlHD. It’s too bad she’s debuting with this because you can see that she has some potential, but this holiday theme falls flat. Lauren is a hot girl with a great little body and a beautiful smile. Her skills are amateurish, but good and pretty enthusiastic. The loss is in the very low-nudity content of this card probably to create production options for general distribution (YouTube and the like). This seems to be the problem in most holiday cards. Still, Crist is hot and shows a lot of promise, so I look forward to her future cards. Merry Christmas regardless! VirtuaGirlHD subscribers who own this card have given her a 9.34. The card consists of 16 clips for a total of about 33 minutes of stripsaver action.
Natalie Mendes is beautiful, but has what I like to call a “Big Bird Body.” She’s not fat, but she’s all hips with nothing up top (breasts or shoulders) to match it, making for an odd shape. Further, given her performance here, she’s really not deserving of the VIP title. This card has an OK premise and outfit, but Natalie is pretty boilerplate boring and doesn’t have much style or attitude to bring to the screen. She just gives the impression that she’s there to do her job, isn’t always sure how to do it, and falls back on some basic stripper moves that really aren’t that interesting. So while she is beautiful, she has little else. VirtuaGirlHD subscribers who own this VIP card have given her a 9.34. The card consists of 20 clips for a total of about 27 minutes of stripsaver action.
Zoe I have a hard time with this VirtuaGirl. Zoe has potential to be very hot, but in cards like this, it’s ruined by her over-done makeup, severe hair style, and too-thin body with the big fake breasts on top. Her face is beautiful and if she let it out instead of covering it up, she would be much better for it. Overall, her performance is about what can be expected from an early card like this. Not the greatest or most explicit, but still good. The outfit had a lot of potential that was lost because of the earliness of the card and the general lack of imagination from the performer. Overall, this card is OK if you like Zoe’s look, but not really recommended. VirtuaGirlHD subscribers who own this card have given her a 7.72. The card consists of 35 clips for a total of about 33 minutes of stripsaver action.
Playful Ann The outfit doesn’t help in this card, but Playful Ann’s performance seals the deal and makes this her worst card yet. The red stripes and slightly opaque design of this bodysuit is horrible and does nothing to accentuate Ann’s great curves. Worse, her desktop dancing is well below par and even this VirtuaGirls great smile and vitality can’t bring it back. While Playful Ann is definitely a good performer and capable of a lot of fun (if amateur) striptease, you’ll find none of that in Playful Kiss. The card’s only saving grace are the couple of explicit scenes on the taskbar in which Playful Ann does well showcasing her hot body. Otherwise, not worth the download. VirtuaGirlHD subscribers who own this card have given her a 9.47. The card consists of 24 clips for a total of about 36 minutes of stripsaver action.
Blue Angel This card has a good premise and Blue Angel fits the part, but fails to follow through with anything more than a few ballet poses and a relative lack of nudity. For 31 minutes of card, there are perhaps 5 minutes of full nudity and five more where she’s topless. Well over half the card is clothed. Besides that, there is no explicit behavior and little striptease or performance to make up for the set. It’s too bad too because Blue Angel is a beautiful girl with a lot of potential. She blew us away with her VIP performance, so her falling flat here is a sad surprise. This card is not recommended. VirtuaGirl HD subscribers who own this card have given her a 9.40. The card consists of 21 clips for a total of about 31 minutes of stripsaver action.
Nadine This card is, like other cards of Nadine I’ve seen before, an example of what VirtuaGirl can do wrong. Nadine is beautiful, though her body is very thin and her breasts are rock hard and very fake. Still, she has potential because of her beautiful, slightly exotic look. Nothing happens with it, though. She has the charisma of a Pet Rock and about as much striptease and desktop dancing ability. Her show is flat boring. It’s too bad because this Virtua Girl had a lot of potential in the looks department, but flops entirely once the show starts. VirtuaGirlHD subscribers who own this card have given her an 8.82. The card consists of 25 clips for a total of about 32 minutes of stripsaver action.
Manon Manon is very hot. She is unusual amongst Virtua Girls because she has a classy, executive quality that you don’t normally see in desktop dancing. She is slightly aloof, which most of the time only adds to her appeal. In this card, however, it drops flat. She is robotic and almost glassy-eyed in this one. The outfit is so-so and the look she has is good, but her performance is just mindless gyrating and stripping. There is no interest, nothing but forced smiles, and little innovation going on. She just does her job dancing for the camera and that’s it. Definitely the worst of her cards I’ve seen so far. VirtuaGirlHD subscribers who own this card have given her an 8.90. The card consists of 24 clips for a total of about 31 minutes of stripsaver action.
Candy Blond Bob said he thought I’d “have fun with this one.” I hope this card is just a serious makeup malfunction because it looks a lot like Candy Blond has been in a fistfight – and probably lost. She’s probably a beautiful girl under all that paint, but as it is, she looks like the loser after a UFC bout. It’s hideous. The only thing saving Sweet Words from being the worst card ever produced is Candy’s excellent desktop dancing and striptease skills. She’s one of the few VirtuaGirl dancers who can blend the two into something that isn’t jerky and incoherent. On that level, she is an awesome desktop dancer and worth watching. If you can get past her horrible makeup job. The outfit in this card doesn’t help much, really serving to accentuate that bright bruise-colored cheek rouge. Don’t bother downloading unless you get this as part of your subscription. One of the worst cards Totem has produced in a long while. VirtuaGirl HD subscribers who own this card have given her a 8.72. The card consists of 25 clips for a total of about 42 minutes of stripsaver action.
Ashley Robbins This card would have been better served if Ashley Robbins had looked in the mirror before going on stage. Her hair is fun and unusual, but the entire outfit is just a huge sexy failure. Ashley has the look that makes almost anything look good, but this over-the-top gamble rolled snake eyes. The rest of the problem with this card is that it’s almost entirely made up of short, tiny clips. Most under a minute. The ones that are lengthy seem to mostly be non-nude. Given the very early card number, that’s somewhat understandable, but in other cards with Ashley Robbins, she’s had more skin time than this one shows. Ashley is obviously doing what she can with what she was given and is even having fun in some of the scenes, which is a real bonus. But overall, the card just comes off as awful. VirtuaGirl HD subscribers who own this card have given her a 7.28. The card consists of 33 clips for a total of about 23 minutes of stripsaver action.
Alexandra It’s hard not to like this hot VirtuaGirl. Alexandra looks best when doing a 70′s throwback style and this outfit definitely fits that model. This desktop dancers hot body, quirky hair, and beautiful looks are offset by her obvious lack of self assurance on camera. She repeats the same boring moves and keeps almost pausing to think about what to do next. Of course, getting by entirely on hot looks is nothing new to Virtua Girl and many models have appeared and done so and kept high ratings. Alexandra is no exception. Maybe she’ll come back for a second try. Meanwhile, this card is good for those who enjoy Alexandra and her look, but it’s no improvement over her other performances. VirtuaGirl HD subscribers who own this card have given her an 8.68. The card consists of 30 clips for a total of about 37 minutes of stripsaver action.
Aletta Ocean is a porn star of some renown and her look says “professional” all over it. From her big fake breasts to her collagen lips, this woman is the image of today’s “sex queen.” Sadly, that professionalism also means distance and, to be honest, boredom. This manufactured woman puts on a good show if you’re after boilerplate solo stripper moves. If you’re looking for a great attitude, a fun show, or someone who appears to be enjoying herself as she performs, then Aletta Ocean won’t deliver. This card is worth downloading if you can get it for free as a VIP member, but otherwise, don’t waste your tickets. Fans of Aletta Ocean might want this one, but there are far better cards to be had of much more alluring women on VirtuaGirl HD. VirtuaGirlHD subscribers who own this VIP card have given her an 8.99. The card consists of 23 clips for a total of about 30 minutes of stripsaver action.
Yet another Elya card with horribly bad performance, awkward and pity-inducing desktop dancing, and very little nudity. This hot, all natural Virtua Girl had real potential and has never shown anything but the ability to fall flat on her face with every performance. Like most of Elya’s cards, this one features a lot of short clips with marginal dancing ability (and a lot of hokey bouncing) and only two or three scenes with nudity beyond glimpses of toplessness. As with all of her past cards, I cannot recommend this card to anyone unless you’re looking for another train wreck performance from this VirtuaGirl. VirtuaGirlHD subscribers who own this card have given her a 6.51. The card consists of 27 clips for a total of about 16 minutes of stripsaver action.
This isn’t Elya’s worst card, but that’s not saying much. As I’ve said before, this girl produces some of the worst desktop dancing and striptease every recorded, but for some reason (like a train wreck), you just have to look anyway. It could be her spectacularly bad performances or her extremely well-shaped natural body. Who knows? This card features some bad acting, more uncoordinated and off-tempo dancing, and a lot of short, fully-clothed clips that appear out of nowhere and disappear before you realize they’ve been there. The entire card is only 15 minutes long – making it of about average length for this desktop dancer. Probably not recommended to anyone, but if you’re like me and just can’t stay away from this train wreck, then by all means.. VirtuaGirlHD subscribers who own this card have given her a 7.07. The card consists of 23 clips for a total of about 15 minutes of stripsaver action.
Elya is already the lowest-scoring train wreck reviewed here at Virtua Girl Review. This card, though, takes the cake. It would basically be about equal to her other cards (rated in the 4-6 range on average), but for one thing: there is almost no nudity. Scenes that should be “full nudity” and are labeled as such don’t have it. In fact, most of this card is basically PG-13 at worst. Of the 23 clips, only one has any real content that involves full nudity and marginally explicit behavior – the rest are pretty empty. That, coupled with Elya’s lack of any kind of striptease or desktop dancing skill means this card gets yet another low score. VirtuaGirl HD subscribers who own this card have given her a 7.77. The card consists of 23 clips for a total of about 20 minutes of stripsaver action.
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Bianca - Snow Queen
